Examine Your Reflection

My kids and I are currently dealing with an ugly situation. I'm being purposely vague so I apologize for the lack of details, but the point here is not to identify the people who are acting in such a way, but what we can learn from it. The basic situation is that our group has to use another church's building. Even though we pay them for the use of the facilities, over the last several months, a couple of staff members of that church have become progressively more hostile and unkind. Last week it got bad enough that something had to be done. I don't know how it will all play out, but for the time being, we are still meeting there. There are dozens of lessons we could talk about relating to this situation, but I want to cover just one this week, and it's an important one.

How we as church members act reflects on our entire church. I will admit that I have very hard feelings at this point toward the church in question. The staff members we have dealt with have treated us like second class citizens at best. They have made us walk in the rain to enter a specific door, rather than the one that was open for them. They have left ugly signs on doors. They have left us standing in the cold. I won't say more, but it goes on and on. In speaking with the other people in our group who are experiencing this treatment, we all feel angry, hurt, and disgusted. We feel like we've gone above and beyond to make the situation work, but we are getting nothing from the other side but meanness. It is very easy to paint the entire church as hostile and unfriendly. But you know, I realized the other day, when I finally got my emotions out of the way, that we really don't know how many people in the church even know this is happening. There had been talk of “I can't believe their preacher lets them treat people like this,” and “I wonder how they welcome visitors here.” There was even some mocking of the church's motto which is prominently displayed on a sign out front, because it certainly wasn't being lived out by those we encountered. But emotion aside, we really don't know if the preacher knew what was happening before we finally had enough and he was contacted. We don't know that a single church member other than the two staff we'd dealt with had any clue this was going on. My point, however, is that it was very easy to think that they all were like the ones who are unkind. Whether we like it or not, as members of a church, we represent our church to those we encounter. They base their opinion of our church on those they meet. When they go to lunch and overhear folks trash talking the other church members, it makes a bad impression. When they hear you talking to your friend about how long winded the preacher is, how you don't like the music, how the Sunday School teacher doesn't study enough....those things do not make them want to visit your church. And if they do visit, and no one speaks to them, or conversely, they feel like they are being interrogated, that certainly doesn't encourage a repeat visit. Our behavior may be keeping them out of church. It's easy to say that folks will use any excuse to stay home, and that can be true, but that doesn't give us free reign to act like heathens, literally. We are supposed to be Christ-like, at all times, to all people. Cattiness, hostility, or indifference to people has no place in any Christian’s life.

In an even bigger sense, we represent Christians in general. Westboro Baptist Church has done enormous damage to the view others hold of Christians, because their behavior is decidedly not Christian at all. But they are the ones that show up on the news and everyone sees, and that's who they base their opinion on. All Catholic priests are not pedophiles, but non-Catholics judge the entire Catholic church as if they were. All televangelists are not adulterous money-grubbing thieves, but those who are tarnish the image for all. We must remember that we represent Christ to those in the world. What image are we projecting?

The situation with the church I mentioned above will get worked out eventually, one way or another. And I am praying for God to remind all of us to extend grace to one another. I don't want to harbor resentment or bitterness. It will take a little time for the damage to be mended, but I want to use it to grow in grace and mercy. And I will take the lessons to heart and remember that my behavior reflects on my church, and my Lord. I only want to reflect His love.