A Thankful Heart

Image from: http://follow2serve.wordpress.com/2012/11/19/thanksgiving-and-mondays/

It's been almost five months since that phone call that froze my heart. It's been almost five months since I stood outside watching them load my son on a helicopter to fly him to another hospital better equipped to save his life. It's been almost five months since a doctor stood in the ICU explaining how much damage had been done to Tim's liver in the wreck. It's been almost five months since the ER nurse that first cared for him went home crying after her shift and told her husband that Tim likely wouldn't make it. It's been almost five months. It feels like yesterday and it feels like ten years ago. So much has happened in five months.

Today, just five months later, Tim seems perfectly healthy. There's a tiny scar from the chest tube, and a couple miniscule scars from IVs, but that's all the outward sign that he ever skirted the edge of the Valley of Death. Over the last five months, God has knit his liver back together, returned full function to it, and healed his lungs. The last obstacle Tim was dealing with was the big collection of blood in the liver. Today, we learned that in the last three months, it has reduced by half. Today, that same doctor that stood in the ICU with a grave face telling us how dangerous the liver damage was stood smiling and telling us he was releasing Tim. Five months ago, Dr. Tartt stood by Tim's bed and told him to avoid moving as much as possible so the liver could clot and stop hemorrhaging. Today, he stood by Tim and told him to do whatever activities he was comfortable doing. What a difference a few months can make. Actually, what a difference God makes!

I'll never know how many prayers were lifted on Tim's behalf. We got hundreds of phone calls, emails, texts, and Facebook messages telling us people were praying. I heard from people from churches I'd never even heard of saying Tim was on their prayer list. The archery community stepped up and did a fund raiser for his medical bills and we got cards from people Tim had shot with across the state. I'll never know how many people prayed for Tim. But God does. He heard every single prayer, counted every tear, touched every heart. And He chose to answer our prayers with the outcome we had been praying for. And for that, I am forever, deeply, beyond description, thankful. There are no words to describe the feeling of watching your child nearly die. And there's no description for the feeling you get when you understand that your child will live. I know some of you have stood in my place. I know some of you didn't get the answer you had begged God for, but instead, heard the awful crushing news. I can't pretend to know what that's like.

Here's what I know for certain. God is good. And He is good all the time. When He answers our prayers in the way we asked, He is good. And when He says no, He is good. And when He says wait, He is good. And when we have no idea what He is doing, when we just can't understand why He is letting something happen, when our world is crashing down around us, He is still good. Our inability to see the big picture does not change His goodness.

This week is Thanksgiving. Many people across our land will lift prayers to God to thank him for all He's done for them, provided for them, and helped them. My family has so much to be thankful for every year, but even more so this year. And regardless of the circumstances you find yourself in, you too have much for which to be thankful.

Thursday, millions of “Thank you, God” prayers will ascend. I wonder how many will be said this Wednesday though. Or this Friday. Or next week. It is so very easy to take things for granted when they are going smoothly. It's easy to just cry out to God for help when we are desperate and forget to return in gratefulness when our situation changes, just as nine out of the ten lepers did when Jesus healed them. But living a life of gratitude, finding things to be thankful for every day, regardless of our circumstances, changes us. It changes our outlook, it reminds us of our dependence on God for all things, and it keeps us looking up toward Him rather than focusing on ourselves. Thanksgiving should not be reserved for a day, or even a week, or even just the month of November. It should be our attitude every day, every minute.

I have a long way to go to get to the “all gratitude, all the time” place in my life. I hope I'm making progress. I hope you are too. And I wish you a blessed Thanksgiving, knowing that if you are reading this, I have thanked God for placing you in my life.

Oh No! I Forgot To Socialize the Kids

This is our third year homeschooling and over the years, I've discovered there are a few predictable responses when people find out we homeschool. The reactions vary from laughable to annoying to downright offensive. One thing seems certain though. Everyone appears to have an opinion on the subject and they usually want to share it with me.

One we hear often is “Wow, that's great. I have so much respect for you. You must have so much patience.” Now, I appreciate your respect, I really do. But patience? Nope, not really. I don't have any more patience than any other teacher would have, or a bus driver, or the receptionist that has to answer stupid questions all day, or the police officer that has heard the same excuse a thousand times. I'm not extra patient, but when you are doing what God has instructed you to do, you will find that you are able to do what is needed. People sometimes respond with some form of “Wow, I could never do that!” That's ok. I probably wouldn't want to do your job either. I try to refrain from saying that though, because it sounds kind of snotty. I mean seriously, you do THAT all day? All week long? Ugh!

Often we are asked why we took our kids out of school. We have been asked if we hate public school or if we are trying to keep our kids from all bad influences. No, we don't hate schools. Yes, we do hate some of the things that go on there. No, we are under no delusion that we can prevent all bad influences, but yes, we do want to keep as many away from our kids as we can. Don't you? I mean, who wants their kids exposed to bad influences. I want to ask this questioner if they are even listening to themselves. I also try to keep my kids from drinking bleach. Call me weird.

Then there are the testers we meet. These are the people who want to quiz my kids to see if they are “smart” because they are home-schooled. This is so odd. I never see them doing this to traditionally schooled kids, but they feel right at ease quizzing my kids on random facts to see what they are learning. This goes along with the belief that if a home-schooled kid isn't brilliant, the parent must be failing at teaching. Or if they are shy, or overactive, or withdrawn, or talkative, etc, it must be because they are not socialized at school. Yet when I look at traditionally schooled kids, you know what I see? Kids that are really smart, or not so much, or average. Kids that are shy, or bold, or talkative, or withdrawn, or overactive. Kids are unique and individual, regardless of where or how they are schooled.

Finally, there are people who think we keep our kids home so we can indoctrinate them with our religion. This is only half true. I absolutely intend to indoctrinate my kids with Christian teachings. Absolutely! But I did this when they were in school too. And the Bible instructs us to do so. Train up a child in the way he should go......sound familiar? Every Christian is responsible for the spiritual instruction of their kids, and if you leave it up to someone else, whether church, school, preacher, teacher, or other, you are failing in that responsibility.

These reactions to homeschooling are things I've had to get used to. But they parallel reactions we Christians get from the outside world. There are people who consider it child abuse to teach kids about religion and believe that we should let them make up their own minds when they are adults. There are people who will quiz you on Bible facts to see if you know it all. There are people who think we are hiding from the real world inside our churches. There are people who claim they respect the way we live but think they could never live up to the church standards (another whole devotional right there, so I won't even address it.) There are people who look at our personality and decide it is because we are “church people” that we are....whatever personality trait they are against. There are people who think we must have it all together or never have problems because we have Jesus. Yeah, I wish! Some of the reactions from non-believers come from genuine curiosity or respect. Some from fear, hate, or prejudice. Some is a push back against the convictions they themselves are feeling when in our presence, which comes not from our behavior but from the Holy Spirit working on them.

Here's the take-away. I homeschool because it's what's best for my family. I don't judge you on the way you school your kids. Let's just respect and support one another, ok? I am a Christian. I don't judge you for not being one, if you aren't. Once upon a time, I wasn't one either. Let's just respect and support one another however we can, ok? I will tell you about how Jesus has changed my life though, because it's awesome. Or, if you are a Christian, I am not here to criticize your walk and I'd appreciate it if you refrained from doing so to me. I have stumbles and struggles too. Let's help lift each other up, ok? We have gotten so busy putting people into categories that we have lost Jesus' mission....to make disciples, to glorify God, to care for the needy, and to LOVE. Let's get back to it.