Thursday, November 20, 2014

Oh No! I Forgot To Socialize the Kids

This is our third year homeschooling and over the years, I've discovered there are a few predictable responses when people find out we homeschool. The reactions vary from laughable to annoying to downright offensive. One thing seems certain though. Everyone appears to have an opinion on the subject and they usually want to share it with me.

One we hear often is “Wow, that's great. I have so much respect for you. You must have so much patience.” Now, I appreciate your respect, I really do. But patience? Nope, not really. I don't have any more patience than any other teacher would have, or a bus driver, or the receptionist that has to answer stupid questions all day, or the police officer that has heard the same excuse a thousand times. I'm not extra patient, but when you are doing what God has instructed you to do, you will find that you are able to do what is needed. People sometimes respond with some form of “Wow, I could never do that!” That's ok. I probably wouldn't want to do your job either. I try to refrain from saying that though, because it sounds kind of snotty. I mean seriously, you do THAT all day? All week long? Ugh!

Often we are asked why we took our kids out of school. We have been asked if we hate public school or if we are trying to keep our kids from all bad influences. No, we don't hate schools. Yes, we do hate some of the things that go on there. No, we are under no delusion that we can prevent all bad influences, but yes, we do want to keep as many away from our kids as we can. Don't you? I mean, who wants their kids exposed to bad influences. I want to ask this questioner if they are even listening to themselves. I also try to keep my kids from drinking bleach. Call me weird.

Then there are the testers we meet. These are the people who want to quiz my kids to see if they are “smart” because they are home-schooled. This is so odd. I never see them doing this to traditionally schooled kids, but they feel right at ease quizzing my kids on random facts to see what they are learning. This goes along with the belief that if a home-schooled kid isn't brilliant, the parent must be failing at teaching. Or if they are shy, or overactive, or withdrawn, or talkative, etc, it must be because they are not socialized at school. Yet when I look at traditionally schooled kids, you know what I see? Kids that are really smart, or not so much, or average. Kids that are shy, or bold, or talkative, or withdrawn, or overactive. Kids are unique and individual, regardless of where or how they are schooled.

Finally, there are people who think we keep our kids home so we can indoctrinate them with our religion. This is only half true. I absolutely intend to indoctrinate my kids with Christian teachings. Absolutely! But I did this when they were in school too. And the Bible instructs us to do so. Train up a child in the way he should go......sound familiar? Every Christian is responsible for the spiritual instruction of their kids, and if you leave it up to someone else, whether church, school, preacher, teacher, or other, you are failing in that responsibility.

These reactions to homeschooling are things I've had to get used to. But they parallel reactions we Christians get from the outside world. There are people who consider it child abuse to teach kids about religion and believe that we should let them make up their own minds when they are adults. There are people who will quiz you on Bible facts to see if you know it all. There are people who think we are hiding from the real world inside our churches. There are people who claim they respect the way we live but think they could never live up to the church standards (another whole devotional right there, so I won't even address it.) There are people who look at our personality and decide it is because we are “church people” that we are....whatever personality trait they are against. There are people who think we must have it all together or never have problems because we have Jesus. Yeah, I wish! Some of the reactions from non-believers come from genuine curiosity or respect. Some from fear, hate, or prejudice. Some is a push back against the convictions they themselves are feeling when in our presence, which comes not from our behavior but from the Holy Spirit working on them.


Here's the take-away. I homeschool because it's what's best for my family. I don't judge you on the way you school your kids. Let's just respect and support one another, ok? I am a Christian. I don't judge you for not being one, if you aren't. Once upon a time, I wasn't one either. Let's just respect and support one another however we can, ok? I will tell you about how Jesus has changed my life though, because it's awesome. Or, if you are a Christian, I am not here to criticize your walk and I'd appreciate it if you refrained from doing so to me. I have stumbles and struggles too. Let's help lift each other up, ok? We have gotten so busy putting people into categories that we have lost Jesus' mission....to make disciples, to glorify God, to care for the needy, and to LOVE. Let's get back to it.

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